Sunday, November 2, 2008

I Do !!

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Marriage is a flawed institution. Those were the opening lines of Shobha De's bestseller 'Spouse'. She often wondered if it were true or if the author was just being cynical. But this was when she was single herself. Back then she believed that Marriage was what you made of it. She also believed that there had to be a mysterious force operating in the background to make it work. Some called it destiny, some called it love and some others called it compromise. But whatever it was, it had to persistent and pertinacious to propel two dissimilar people to spend the rest of their lives together. She liked to believe that they did out of choice rather than the lack of it.

Then came the phase when she entered into wedlock herself. Marriage as she experienced it was flawed for sure. It is a commitment more to oneself than to the other. It is a commitment of sticking by the other no matter what and never giving up. She realized over time that it isn't about meeting half-way. Because sometimes both partners are walking towards the half way mark but on two different paths altogether. It isn't just about love or fate but more about compatibility and reason. It is about looking for the best in the other and overlooking the rest (the latter being more significant). She learnt that expectation is the biggest rival of a healthy marriage. People that walk into it with no expectations are probably more likely to love it than the rest. And what you get out of a marriage does not necessarily depend on what (or) how much you put into it. Also that it takes two happy people (individually and mutually) to make a happy marriage.

She knew that these were just her first cut inferences about marriage and the best was yet to come. Her mother for instance with 30 years of exposure would probably have a different story to tell. But for a 3 year experience profile, this understanding wasn't a bad start.

Anyways, at the end of the day she concluded that everyone should experience Marriage once, more aptly 'at least once' (in today's world). And her wedding wish to every couple was - 'May they have enough similarities to keep them bonded and enough disparities so they complement each other'.

P.S : "Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live"
-Mignon McLaughlin

4 comments:

Vinu said...

"Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live"

Why is that so? Are they different? :-)

Anyways, at the end of the day she concluded that everyone should experience Marriage once
Just once?? :-D

'May they have enough similarities to keep them bonded and enough disparities so they complement each other'
Thats really well said..

Swapna said...

Just once??- hehehe. Lets see you do it once dude...Then we'll talk abt more.

And love and marriage are they different ....I'll let you answer that for me few years from now.

Archana said...

That's a nice write Swapna. Can't help admiring you buddy :-)
YOU ROCK!!!

Swapna said...

Archana,

Thank you so much. Appreciate the feedback. Just penning my thoughts as they occur :)Glad you like it and are following the blog.