You know how some people touch your life and transform it, while others leave a wake of destruction in your path....Then there's others that kindle a fire which flickers and burns for a lifetime. He belongs in the last group. He is who I refer to as "My Happy place"....My Kochu (my Dad's younger brother).
Its funny because when they(read therapists) say "Go to your happy place"...people usually think of the beach or the spa or temples or ancestral homes or some place they have happy memories associated with. But that to me is Kochu. He is in the forefront of all my happy memories.
Growing up, he was my solace, my relief from a dull, drab even frustrating day. My Dad who I adore and worship was a man of extremely high standards and took himself and his family very seriously. Kochu was in stark contrast to that. He was light hearted, derived pleasure from simple things and seized every moment. I'd get to go and stay with him on weekends and holidays (after a lot of negotiation and discussion with my Dad). He told his neighbors that I was first born and was away at boarding school that's why they only saw me on holidays. He would buy me junk food like chat and mirchi bajjis - stuff my Dad didn't approve of. He would get me and my brother fire crackers for Diwali to supplement what Dad bought. He was my back door to everything...he knew that and he did it anyway.
He is to date my biggest support and my most ardent fan. He has literally raised me alongside my parents...He lived with us till he got married. He has seen my every tantrum and handled it with love and care. He has cried many tears when I first went to Kindergarten. He even brought me back home a few times when I would not let go of his hand as he tried to drop me off at school. He has been at my bedside when I fell sick -even if it was just fever...he has stayed up late nights when my exam results were due or when I was at counseling for my MCA admissions. He got me my project work and internship and I would travel with him to his office every week for 3 months. They best 3 months of my life. I got to see the simplicity, humility and integrity that went into making him one of the most loved and respected men in NRSA. He got me to apply for my first job and helped me through the process to get hired into INCOIS.
He has been a constant through all the good times and bad ones. He cried more than my Dad the day I got married and left home. Heck ! He cried more than my Mom did. Another amazing thing about him is his relationship with my mom. I have never seen a more beautiful devar/bhabi relationship. He supports my Mom unconditionally. As far as he's concerned she is always RIGHT....no exceptions. He is more than a brother to her. That speaks for the kind of man he is.
Ever since I moved to the US, I have not been able to spend a lot of time with him. As is the curse of this generation being thousands of miles away, I haven't been there when he's needed me most. It will be a remorse I carry with me for the rest of my life. However, I get to see him when I travel to India this time and I intend to spend quality time with him telling him how much he means to me and how he has shaped my life just by being in it.
He has taught me what it means to be GENUINE. What I haven't been able to learn or emulate though is how he does that without ever hurting anyone. And that is his legacy. One of the most endearing, sweet, genuine, amazingly honest and kind people I have the privilege of calling Kochu(chachu). I am blessed that for 3 decades, every time I close my eyes and think of my happy place I see his beaming face full of affection and warmth holding on to my little hand and helping me cross the road.....LOVE has never been more patient, more kind and more unconditional !
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