There are three fundamental unspoken needs in life that every human being experiences from time to time - some people more than others. The need to feel loved, the need to be understood and the need to be validated. The first two are fairly straight-forward and irrefutable. But the need to be validated has evolved in her mind and changed forms over a period of time.
When she was younger she believed that the need to be validated was a sign of weakness. Why should your self-worth be determined by others - even if "others" are a significant part of your life? She thought that nobody should validate you but yourself; since no one knows you as well as you do and even if they did they couldn't possibly fathom your intent or depth. But she realized with time that one's existence is a factor of all the people in one's life, your influence on them and the purpose you serve in their lives. The need to feel acknowledged, appreciated and valued are a sign of acceptance. Acceptance that there is more to life than self and that your net worth is a factor of all the lives you've touched and transformed.
Someone once told her that "If you can count five people (other than family) that would be shattered by your non-existence, people who consider you indispensable in their lives, then your life's purpose is met." She wasn't yet sure that her life's purpose was that comprehensible or conspicuous. But in the grand scheme of things it did make a ton of sense.
She went to bed that night thinking about it and believing more than ever that while you are who you want to be and in essence a product of your lineage, your life's experiences and your beliefs/principles, there is also a significant part of you that is a product of the people you care about and who they believe you to be.
That was quite a humbling thought and she felt like she was in the realm of influence of a force much mightier than herself.
P.S : The logic of validation allows us to move between the two limits of dogmatism and skepticism -Paul Ricoeur
2 comments:
Well written..love the title ..and the simplicity in saying things on life and living...completely agree.. acceptance and validation do add to us as a person we are and we become..reminds me of the management school days..theories on needs....N Ach, N Aff...etc....long discussions we used to have on Individual and group behavior...this is refreshing...keep writing...
Thanks GV. Appreciate the feedback. Am sure your discussions were more academic and theory based. This was more introspection based.And yes, plan to keep writing....It has come to become my sanity check in an otherwise insane world.
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